Life, Anew..

A hurtful realization dawned on me last night when I received an eye-opening email from my past.

The realization is this:

I can no longer be selfish in baking the cake and eating the entirety of it as well. Firstly, my derriere is large enough, and secondly, I need to learn to let go of certain things, and share it with the world.
In life, sometimes, one needs to let go and move on, as hard as it seems at the time. When holding onto something, or someone for your own selfish reasons, you start toying with their dignity, and where then, is yours? I need to let go, and let him be free of the prison that it is me. Me, being the warden of his broken heart! How cruel am I? Yes, you can say it - truly cruel.

You see, although I mention in my previous post: "the problem with the majority of society today, is that we have an unquenchable thirst or need, if you will, for people to like us, and accept us."  well I am, or one of me, is part of that majority and I cannot let go until I know whole-heartedly that there is no hatred or unsettled matters between both parties. The email I received though changed every notion I had on that conformity and I am seemingly a changed person, or at least my views have been altered drastically.

Having said that I would like to dedicate this post to the man that I've held captive by my selfish ways. I am truly sorry. You can now walk away, dignity intact. You deserve that and every happiness.

..life, anew

I was blinded by my selfishness and you were lost in my prison
Shameful remorse is the feeling for the day
And freedom is yours for eternity
Although we part ways in a seemingly dignified matter
My heart remains unsettled
And my mind still races with ways it could have been done differently
Deserving you are of freedom from the prison that is me,
Deserving you are of another that can love you like I couldn't.
My hopes and dreams for you remain the same.
Succeed and achieve all you desire
And although you desire me, my picture and your love for me will pass like the seasons in a year.
I will fade into a distant memory,
And my conviction for this truly selfish act, will be to remember.
Remember everything

So here is to a life, anew. Live it, breathe it, and find happiness in every action and every moment, and remember that the selfish acts one dares to dare or dream, could result in a lifetime conviction of remembrance.

Sincerely,
Lauren

6 Shades of ME!

So, the underlying truth of that which is me, is that I suffer from a disease of which I am certain is my occasional downfall. Nevertheless, it contributes to the beauty of imperfection. The imperfection of a human being, I think, would be the beautiful quality that shines through, because lets face it, who is perfect? Certainly not I. Actually, far from it.

This is a tale of my many imperfections, and how the world around me views who I am, what I am, and who or what I am doing. You see, the problem with the majority of society today, is that we have an unquenchable thirst or need, if you will, for people to like us, and accept us. To be part of a group, a clique, a world that is acceptable in the eyes of the People, Them, They! Who are the People? Who are They? Who are the infinite Them? Who gave them the right to "write" a rule book on what should be acceptable? I'll tell you a little secret, They/ Them/ the People, vanished off the face of the earth about a minute ago. They NO longer matter in your life. BE who you inspire to be. The only person holding you back in your life is YOU! Man up, and stand up for what YOU believe in.

Follow me on my crazy/ beautiful journey of imperfection, and of the 6 Shades of my personality. You'll be introduced to all of the pieces of me, and you'll either like it or you won't.  But take from it, the courage of being the person you were born to be, by not necessarily conforming to my beliefs, but by deriving your own from many. Think of it as a journey to your center, to your very core, where you can stand up and proudly say, "This is Me, accept it, or forget it".