For all you boys and girls, men and women, and everyone in between, who find yourselves pleasing people and sacrificing who you are, doing favors - or rather feeling the need to say "yes" to someone who asks you a favor - this one is for you.
There is a difference between doing a favor for someone and feeling an unrelenting obligation to do something for someone, often at your own expense. The mind is a complex thing. It can be wired and re-wired over and over again. This can go unnoticed for years until one day you're absolved and you're able to pinpoint where you went wrong and work specifically on the part that needs love and care.
We are often slaves to our own minds, constantly hoodwinked into thinking a certain way, whether it be logical, emotional, implausible or obscure. People-pleasing often stems from lack of self-love, and there being little to no acceptance of one's self, thus the need to seek out affirmation or recognition in doing things to please other people. I think we lose ourselves in this maze of torment. Taking on different personality traits to please different people will hinder your sight of who you are and the person you were meant to be.
Now, I completely agree, affirmation makes one feel good about themselves, and everyone does seek this out once in a while, however, be sure to tread the line carefully. The line can and often does become a blur. People come into your life, take advantage of your Door-mat status, ask favors of you, "need" you for whatever crisis is going on in their lives, in return you receive your affirmation, but then they wipe the hypothetical dirt off their feet when exiting your life. It leaves an horrendous stain and pungent odor of disappointment. That is when the self-loathing sets up home and gets comfortable.
Don't allow favors to become your duty. You have a choice, you can say "no". Know the difference between a favor and an obligation towards doing something for someone. Once you do this, you can concentrate on loving yourself more and finding yourself. The liberation you'll feel when you finally say "no" is remarkable.
Find absolution from the Door-mat society and learn to say "I love me", "What can I do for me?" I can assure you, it is not selfish, it is simply taking better care of yourself and helping those who need you without it being at own your expense or sacrificing pieces of yourself because you're afraid of the rejection.
Love yourself! You are an exquisitely unique creature and you deserve your own happiness!
